User blog:Tkid115/M Night Shyamalan vs Michael Bay - 115 Rap Battles Season 2
Welcome back to 115 Rap Battles Season 2! Today features constant box-office blunderer and master of plot twist, M Night Shyamalan, versus the master of so-called "special effects", Michael Bay, to see who is the best director. But these two may just need a bit of a lesson in good film-making.... 'Cast:' Ray William Johnson as M Night Shyamalan Nice Peter as Michael Bay/Steven Spielburg EpicLLOYD as George Lucas /Alfred Hitchcock Dante Cimadamore as Norman Bates (cameo) 'Beat:' Beat: Shyamalan starts at 0:13 ' 'Battle: ''115 RAP BATTLES!!!!!!! MICHAEL BAY! VS.... M. NIGHT. SHYAMALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!! ........ACTION!!!!!! ' ' '''Shyamalan:' Hello, Michael. Time to twirl you all up; just like a plot. This battle's no good for you. Just run back to Megan Fox. My creativity? Unmatched. You skill to mine is less than half! So I will most graciously accept this battle win on YOUR behalf! Step into my Village. Give me Signs that you will start breaking. My Sixth Sense is telling me that you are, in fact, mistaking- -me for a fool. Well, no. I'm a genius when it comes to this! Leave childhoods alone, why don't you?! Admit you lost! WHAT A TWIST!!!!!! ' ' Bay: Ok, NO quiet on set, now! I'll set the mood for this verse! Fuck this Indian B-Lister up worse than he did with After Earth! Bring pain on your ass! Gain a victory! Now I've REALLY set the bar- -of complete action! I ruin childhoods? Well, R.I.P Avatar! I'm a bad boy! You're just plain BAD! You're putting me to sleep! Anyone can do plot twists! NEws flash: you're not unique! Drop bombs on you, and capture it! All M. Night and all day! You're career has set sail, but now it has entered the BAY! (R2-D2 appears and projects a hologram) George Lucas: (sigh) This battle sucks. I want my minute back. NOW! Nah, screw that. I'm gonna teach a lesson to you two cash-cows! Yoda: Give up on making films, you should! Lucas: What? You two think you're actually GOOD? Why, your film-making is shittier than a drunk Ed Wood! I've got Star Wars and Jones, bitches! What do you have? Dying careers! The wise mentor of directors! The creative vison you should BOTH fear! Stop trying to blow shit up or trying to blow every single damn mind! Rework your verses! I'm gonna need some help getting this across to you guys! Steven! Steven Spielburg: It's my time on set, now! And these two have ALWAYS benn at the top of my hit list ! Props to you, Lucas, for just tryin! but nothing can save you two privates ! Shyamalan, you work is terrible! And I don't think you see YOUR Signs! You work's extra-terrestrial; different, wierd, and ugly, like your rhymes! With your constant style that you never change, you'd NEVER reach my level! What happened to your "genius"? Going from "eh, ok" to making Devil! You just a failure in the water! And you're repuataion's faultered! You both are so bad with rhymes, you fucked up OTHER rappers! Lucas: Sorry, Wahlburg! Spielburg: Take some notes from this! Look at all my films! Lucas: Critically acclaimed! Spielburg: Jurassic Park, Lincoln, Tin-Tin, War Horse , that's just a few names! I look at your film listings and I see one, two, three, too many flops and flaws! Lucas: You two will NEVER have good blockbusters! Spielburg: You produced the fucking Purge while I made Jaws! Come on, Bay! You bomb everything in sight, but you can't even fight! Hell, you use special effects so much, you created your own damn stereotype! It's not about stupid plots or cranking films out faster and faster! Lucas: You two may think you make good films- Spielburg: -but this battle just got re-mastered! (Film projector starts up) '' '' Alfred Hitchcock: Ladies and gentlemen, Alfred Hitchcock presents his win against you bunch. I'll take Shyamalan's plots and Bay's effects and eat them like the Birds for lunch! I think you're all just Psycho if you think that you could step to me! I'm the master of filmography, while your films will just go straight to DVD! These two faliures do nothing else but recieve constant hate! I'd like to see you, Michael Bay, go toe-to-toe with my Norman Bates! Shyamalan, I see a dead career and a legacy of shame! Matter of fact, critics get Vertigo every time they hear your name! Now, Spielburg and Lucas, that last line you spat was pretty flawed! Remastering you "master-pieces" doesn't make it better! I think it's odd, that you, Lucas, wanted to teach a good lesson in your first verse, but you have problems! You try to fire shots but I guess Disney shot first! Now, Steven, the films you make are pretty decent, I will admit. But it's the way you make those films. You can't contol a crew worth of shit! You're nit-picky! Your production is shitty! But now I think that, truly, you four will never forget these words the next time you try to make a "good" movie... ''WHO WON?! YOU DECIDE!!!!!!! ''' '' (Aaaaaannnd..... ACTION!) 115 RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''' WHO WON?! Shyamalan Bay Lucas Spielburg Lucas/Spielburg Hitchcock Category:Blog posts